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Writer's pictureNicole Woodcox Bolden

"All You Must Hold onto is You!"


"She remembered who she was and the game changed"

― Lalah Delia

30 Before 34 Mindset Challenge

The Quote

I listened to Erykah Badu’s song “Bag Lady" today and it hit in a way it never hit me before. I had heard a line that I never noticed before and googled the lyrics. One of the lines says “All you must hold onto, is you, is you, is you.” For the longest time, I thought the line was saying, “all you hold on to is issues, issues”. The real lyrics make a world of different. Now when she says “bag lady you gon’ miss your bus,” that means so much more. Holding on to drama instead of yourself doesn’t only make you miss your bus because you are moving at a slower pace but it also may confuse you on which bus to take.

The Application

This song is a great reminder of how important release is. Release isn’t just about forgiving others, forgetting, or moving on. Release is acknowledging that we do have a capacity level in our cup and that we are either overflowing with drama or overflowing with love but it’s hard to overflow with both at the same time. Therefore, we have to choose which is important to us. When we overflow with drama, we are stuck being self-centered. thus, limited in how we love others and live out our purpose. When we overflow with love, our perspective is shifted to the big picture of life. We are able to love free, realize our true purpose in life, and live intentionally. It’s hard to shine your light fully when its blocked by a brick wall of hurt.

The process of releasing is not easy but by taking one step at a time it is possible. This journey will look different for everyone. For me, it all goes back to my self-care practices. My self-defense technique is to avoid or run away. I run away by booking my schedule so tight that I won’t have time to think about anything other than what is in front of me. Or I focus all my attention on helping others. So again, I can avoid my problems because, it would be selfish of me to worry about myself when so and so is going through X. I must schedule at least 15 minutes every day to be still physically and mentally. I also must do some writing. I have realized that writing helps me to process material and apply it better. Also, it helps me to process my emotions. I have found that I tend to ruminate more on certain emotions if I simply try to talk them out.

Practicing good self-care not only helps me to release, but it also allows me to get better at holding on to myself. It allows me to love and know myself better. Everything will eventually either get better or go away but I will always have to deal with myself. So, I can’t let my life slip away consumed with problems that will eventually go away. I make my life not any outside issues. I don’t want to be a bag lady anymore. Here’s to letting all the issues go and holding on to myself!

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